Conversation Starters : Inspiration
A few weeks ago, my family’s dinner routine crashed and burned. My husband got sick and was on the couch for a week. My older son had so many commitments that the only time we really saw each other was in the car, driving to the next thing. And my younger son was fitted with a mouthful of orthodontic appliances that kept him off all solid foods for almost 10 days.
All of that was stressful enough, but what surprised me was how much I missed dinner. Sure, we were all eating – or timidly sipping smoothies, or trying to keep down a handful of Saltines and ginger ale – but we weren’t having dinner. Each evening, I felt restless, unsure of what to do without our usual routine. And then came the magical Sunday when my husband felt better, my kid could chew again, and we were all home.
While I put the finishing touches on our meal, the 13-year-old cheerfully lit candles and set out plates. The 16-year-old helped with small kitchen tasks. My husband pulled up a special festive playlist he’d been curating. And when all four of us sat down at the table, there was almost a collective sigh of relaxation and relief. My older son piled food on his plate, looked around, and said, “I’ve been needing this.”
What happened next was a totally ordinary meal. But I noticed that everyone seemed happier than they had in quite a long time – and the mood lasted all night, even through a backed-up kitchen drain and some brotherly squabbling about who was taking out the garbage. The kids even hung around with us for an evening of alternating between the football game and The Sound of Music. And all of it started at the table.
I’m not suggesting that every family dinner in our house turns out this way. We’re real people, not a Normal Rockwell painting. But the experience was a great reminder of the actual impact family dinner – or the lack of it – can have on us. After just a week and a half of missing mealtimes, the chance to sit down together, eat, and connect again was completely transformative. So as we begin this New Year, I think it’s a good time to remember that every week in 2023 is an opportunity to recommit to family dinners. Even if it’s just once a week, that’s 52 chances to make a connection. I can’t think of a better goal for the year ahead.
Need some help to get started? Try these tips:
- Schedule dinner. In this busy world, what’s not on the calendar often falls off the to-do list. Look ahead, find a time (or two, or more!) each week that looks promising, and put a family meal on the schedule. Remember, it doesn’t have to be dinner, either. Book a quick family breakfast, a Saturday lunch, or a late-evening snack break if that works better for your family.
- Pick some favorites and stick with them. There’s a reason so many older people can remember their childhood meal rotation: It was less work for their parents to plan, shop, and cook dinners if those dinners were the same each week. You may not want to bring back Meatloaf Mondays and Tuna Casserole on Fridays, but there’s nothing wrong with choosing 10 or 12 family favorites and making them on repeat.
- Resolve to get more help this year. Nothing causes family dinner burnout more than one person feeling like they’re responsible for all the work. The New Year is a great opportunity to make a resolution that your family is going to share the load. Maybe getting that help will be as simple as requesting that your spouse or partner is going to order and pick up a take-out meal every Friday night, or deciding that you’ll use disposable table goods twice a week so your young kids can be in charge of cleaning up the kitchen without having to master washing dishes just yet. Or maybe it’s time to teach the tweens and teens to make some basic meals, even if you start with grilled cheese sandwiches and heating up pre-made soup. Whatever level your family members are at, finding a way to share the workload will make mealtimes more doable – and less stressful.
- Make one small change. If you’re already eating together routinely, that’s great. This might be the year to add one small change that makes mealtimes more special or meaningful to you. Maybe you’ll start one meal a week with a gratitude game, a deep breathing exercise, or a family game night while you eat. You could ask each family member to suggest songs for a dinnertime playlist and add to it throughout the year. If conversation has felt strained, it might be time to introduce (or re-introduce) a jar of good conversation starters you can use to take the pressure off. Choose something that will make you look forward to eating together and help create a positive atmosphere.
For even more inspiration, you can check out our ultimate playbook of weekly dinner ideas – Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook. Our friends at Familius have extended their special offer on the book through January, so you can bring home 52 weeks of food, fun, and conversation for 2023! Enter the code FamilyDinner at checkout to get 30% off your copy. Enjoy!
Food
Put this easy meal in the rotation this year (and maybe teach someone else to cook it, too)! You can also use chicken, tofu, or salmon if you prefer.
10-Minute Beef and Broccolini Bowls
Fun
Start a new weekly dinner tradition for 2023 with the Jar of Good Things!
Conversation
The New Year is a good time to talk about goals. Try these collections of conversation starters to kick things off!
Talk about a time you tried something new. What was it? What happened?
Are there lessons you have learned about giving that you could share with those younger than you?
A few weeks ago, my family’s dinner routine crashed and burned. My husband got sick and was on the couch for a week. My older son had so many commitments that the only time we really saw each other was in the car, driving to the next thing. And my younger son was fitted with a mouthful of orthodontic appliances that kept him off all solid foods for almost 10 days.
All of that was stressful enough, but what surprised me was how much I missed dinner. Sure, we were all eating – or timidly sipping smoothies, or trying to keep down a handful of Saltines and ginger ale – but we weren’t having dinner. Each evening, I felt restless, unsure of what to do without our usual routine. And then came the magical Sunday when my husband felt better, my kid could chew again, and we were all home.
While I put the finishing touches on our meal, the 13-year-old cheerfully lit candles and set out plates. The 16-year-old helped with small kitchen tasks. My husband pulled up a special festive playlist he’d been curating. And when all four of us sat down at the table, there was almost a collective sigh of relaxation and relief. My older son piled food on his plate, looked around, and said, “I’ve been needing this.”
What happened next was a totally ordinary meal. But I noticed that everyone seemed happier than they had in quite a long time – and the mood lasted all night, even through a backed-up kitchen drain and some brotherly squabbling about who was taking out the garbage. The kids even hung around with us for an evening of alternating between the football game and The Sound of Music. And all of it started at the table.
I’m not suggesting that every family dinner in our house turns out this way. We’re real people, not a Normal Rockwell painting. But the experience was a great reminder of the actual impact family dinner – or the lack of it – can have on us. After just a week and a half of missing mealtimes, the chance to sit down together, eat, and connect again was completely transformative. So as we begin this New Year, I think it’s a good time to remember that every week in 2023 is an opportunity to recommit to family dinners. Even if it’s just once a week, that’s 52 chances to make a connection. I can’t think of a better goal for the year ahead.
Need some help to get started? Try these tips:
- Schedule dinner. In this busy world, what’s not on the calendar often falls off the to-do list. Look ahead, find a time (or two, or more!) each week that looks promising, and put a family meal on the schedule. Remember, it doesn’t have to be dinner, either. Book a quick family breakfast, a Saturday lunch, or a late-evening snack break if that works better for your family.
- Pick some favorites and stick with them. There’s a reason so many older people can remember their childhood meal rotation: It was less work for their parents to plan, shop, and cook dinners if those dinners were the same each week. You may not want to bring back Meatloaf Mondays and Tuna Casserole on Fridays, but there’s nothing wrong with choosing 10 or 12 family favorites and making them on repeat.
- Resolve to get more help this year. Nothing causes family dinner burnout more than one person feeling like they’re responsible for all the work. The New Year is a great opportunity to make a resolution that your family is going to share the load. Maybe getting that help will be as simple as requesting that your spouse or partner is going to order and pick up a take-out meal every Friday night, or deciding that you’ll use disposable table goods twice a week so your young kids can be in charge of cleaning up the kitchen without having to master washing dishes just yet. Or maybe it’s time to teach the tweens and teens to make some basic meals, even if you start with grilled cheese sandwiches and heating up pre-made soup. Whatever level your family members are at, finding a way to share the workload will make mealtimes more doable – and less stressful.
- Make one small change. If you’re already eating together routinely, that’s great. This might be the year to add one small change that makes mealtimes more special or meaningful to you. Maybe you’ll start one meal a week with a gratitude game, a deep breathing exercise, or a family game night while you eat. You could ask each family member to suggest songs for a dinnertime playlist and add to it throughout the year. If conversation has felt strained, it might be time to introduce (or re-introduce) a jar of good conversation starters you can use to take the pressure off. Choose something that will make you look forward to eating together and help create a positive atmosphere.
For even more inspiration, you can check out our ultimate playbook of weekly dinner ideas – Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook. Our friends at Familius have extended their special offer on the book through January, so you can bring home 52 weeks of food, fun, and conversation for 2023! Enter the code FamilyDinner at checkout to get 30% off your copy. Enjoy!
Food
Put this easy meal in the rotation this year (and maybe teach someone else to cook it, too)! You can also use chicken, tofu, or salmon if you prefer.
10-Minute Beef and Broccolini Bowls
Fun
Start a new weekly dinner tradition for 2023 with the Jar of Good Things!
Conversation
The New Year is a good time to talk about goals. Try these collections of conversation starters to kick things off!
Talk about a time you tried something new. What was it? What happened?
Are there lessons you have learned about giving that you could share with those younger than you?
Have you ever volunteered? What did you do? Did you enjoy it?
Singer Taylor Swift said, ““If you’re horrible to me, I’m going to write a song about it, and you won’t like it. That’s how I operate.” What can you do to make yourself feel better if someone is mean to you?
Did you do anything to help someone this summer? What was it? If not, what could you still do?
Talk about a person you admire, famous or otherwise, who has fought or fights for the freedom of others.
How has your understanding of gratitude changed over the years? What did you feel most grateful for when you were younger? And today?
Gertrude Stein said, “Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.” Describe the most creative way you’ve ever expressed thanks to someone, or someone has expressed thanks to you.
“Don’t be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today.” How might this quote by Malcolm X apply to your own life?
How do the Harry Potter books make an argument for tolerance? Or discuss another book that does.
Mark Twain said, “Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.” What’s the difference between the two, and how would you demonstrate each?
What is your proudest moment so far?
Is it better to talk about your accomplishments or keep them to yourself?
What does it mean to be successful?
Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person teach you?
The actor Christopher Reeve, who played Superman and later suffered from a spinal cord injury, once said, “Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless.” What do you think he meant?
What qualities does a resilient person have? Is it possible to cultivate these qualities over time? How?
Former First Lady and human rights advocate Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves…The choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” What 3 choices have you made in the last year that have shaped who you are and who you will be?
In the movie Jurassic Park, scientists decide to bring back dinosaurs, but aren’t able to control them. What is the film saying about society’s responsibility when it comes to scientific discoveries? Do you agree?
What is being done to improve your neighborhood right now? What could you do to join the effort?
Who is a role model for you as a caring person? How could you incorporate some of their thoughtful behavior into your life?
Think about a time when you have changed something in your life for the better. What was it and how did you do it?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you do something nice for someone else, how does it make you feel?
What does it mean to be inspired?
Who sets a good example for you? Do they inspire you to be a good person?
What makes you want to do good things?
How can I reward you for working hard in school?
What one thing would you change about the world if you had the power to do so?
Finish this sentence: “Someday, I’m going to be the first person in the world to…”
When is a failure a success?
What do you think is your greatest talent or ability?
Teddy Roosevelt once said “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” What does that mean to you?
Many famous writers, athletes and politicians didn’t find success until late in life. Who do you admire who didn’t give up on their dreams?
In the Spiderman series, Uncle Ben says “With great power comes great responsibility.” What power do you have? What great responsibility comes with it?
When people grow up, they are almost always responsible for something. What do you want to be responsible for when you grow up?
Imagine that you could meet either an historical figure or an imaginary character (from film, literature or TV). Who would you want to meet and why? What would you want to ask him or her? If you could plan a day together, what would you do?
Think of a famous figure you don’t admire. This could be someone you respected and have more recently lost respect for, or someone you have never admired. What is it about him or her that you don’t admire? Why?
Think of a famous person you admire, and describe why you admire him or her. What is it s/he does that you respect? Would you want to be like this person? In what ways?
What traits about your mom or dad would you like to have when you are a grown up?
What are some things other people do that cheer you up when you’re down?
What would you say to someone who wanted to give up on a task you knew they could finish?
What would you say to someone who was sad?
What would motivate you to try new foods or activities?
What were you excited about when you got out of bed this morning?
In The Lorax, Dr Seuss writes “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” What do you care about a lot?
What did you do today that you are proud of doing?
What does it mean to be brave?
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” said Martin Luther King, Jr. Have you ever taken on an injustice in your community or in the world? What was the issue, and what happened?
Can you think of someone from your own life who demonstrated acts of great fairness? In what ways did he or she do this?