Tackling Tough Topics

“Not at the dinner table!” my older son groaned on a recent evening, when his brother got a little too cheeky during a conversation about dating. “It’s bad manners!”

“We don’t have manners in this house!” his brother retorted. “Or boundaries!”

We all laughed, and then I cringed a little and mentally ran through a few data points to reassure myself we aren’t, in fact, a totally feral family lacking in social graces. But the truth is, both of my kids are used to a fairly open and relaxed mealtime environment. I like to think we’re not actually without manners or boundaries, but it’s fair enough to say that we favor open and honest communication – even when things get awkward.

As a family, we talk about pretty much everything, from TV shows and the latest high school gossip to literature, world events, and yes, the kinds of topics that can make some people nervous. We’re not shy about diving into discussions about politics, relationships, mental health, or sex, for example. And while we don’t have all of those conversations at the dinner table, it’s definitely one of the places where tough topics have come up.

I think my kids are comfortable chatting about whatever’s on their minds while they’re passing the dinner rolls largely because we’ve talked openly about lots of subjects throughout their lives, in all different settings. That’s a sentiment shared by Leslie Kimball, Executive Director of Responsibility.org, a national non-profit with the missions to eliminate underage drinking, end drunk driving, and empower adults to make a lifetime of responsible alcohol choices. In a recent article, Leslie shares several strategies – like practicing ways to handle difficult situations, relating the conversation to stories in the local news, and reflecting on personal decisions about drinking – that have helped her family effectively leverage mealtimes to model and talk about responsible alcohol use.

Throughout the next few weeks, in observance of Substance Use Awareness Month, we’ll be working with Responsibility.org to share social media posts and resources to help families have more productive and meaningful conversations about alcohol use. Whether you choose to have those conversations during dinner, or at another time that works for you, we know that families need and deserve support to tackle potentially tough topics. We also know, from decades of research, that having regular, warm, connected family meals helps prevent risk behaviors like underage drinking, promiscuity, and eating disorders. So while the dinner table might not be your preferred place to talk about sensitive issues, it’s still an important tool in your parenting toolkit, helping to establish the bonds that will make future conversations easier.

And if you’re looking for guidance to help you talk with your kids about different tricky topics, like body image, social media, mental health, or sex and relationships, check out our new “Talking About Tough Topics” zone. You’ll find articles and conversation starters developed with the input of experts, to make tackling the tough stuff a little easier.

Talking About Tough Topics