On the morning of Valentine’s Day, a friend told me that her son’s class was celebrating the holiday by sitting in a circle and saying what they liked about each classmate. I thought it would be a great way to celebrate at dinner, to help each of us feel a bit more appreciated.

After we sat down to our romantic Valentine’s Day meal (leftovers and candle light), I shared the idea…. I was a little afraid that they would make a joke of it, and there was certainly some, “I love that you don’t get so mad … like Dad does” or “the only thing I like about you is your hair.” But once we got beyond the “mockery” that seems to be the family’s calling card, everyone went along with it, and I would even say it was a success. Just focusing on being “nice” was all that I had expected — but I actually got much more.

For example, for her Valentine’s Day compliment, Izzy (age 10) told me that she loved how I always seem to understand exactly what she’s saying or feeling. She said she loved that I listen to her, no matter how boring her story is, and that I don’t intentionally try to embarrass her. Zach (age 10) said he likes the way I butter his toast. And Jeremy (hubby) told me that he appreciates how I’ve indulged the passion for skiing that it seems everyone in the family shares but me. He told me that even though it’s not really my thing, I still manage to make it fun.

As a mom, sometimes you have to solicit the appreciation (the complaints come readily). But the appreciation is no less meaningful. And what better way to say “I love you.”