Every family is different. Some want to sit and plan together, and some need one person to take the lead. Some will take small steps and grow over time, while others need to jump right in. At The Family Dinner Project, we meet families where they are.

Keeping this is mind, we know that not all families will want to fill out Goal Sheets. One mother explained to us, “If I tried to sit and have a conversation about family dinners and pulled out some Goal Sheets to fill out, my kids would laugh at me. That’s not going over with them.” For that mother and others just like her, we’ve devised the “stealth plan” – a way for you to surprise your family with a special family dinner. After they get a sense of how fun dinner can be, you can take the opportunity to talk about why you did it and why you’d like to have family dinners more often.

The things you might need (all optional!):

• Some fun music
• A tablecloth
• Candles
• A centerpiece of flowers or stones or whatever
• The family’s favorite food (that’s right, optional)
• Our 10 best dinner table games (optional, but very recommended)

The things you won’t need:

• Cell phones
• TV
• To be perfect in any way

Instructions: If you have a partner in crime, enlist them to help – this could be a young child, a friend or your spouse.

• Make or buy a dinner people like
• Dress up a little
• Turn on some fun music
• Set the table with the fancy stuff
• Download your favorite dinner table games
• Download your favorite conversation starters

Invite people to the table. Make a toast. Clink glasses. Play games. Take turns asking questions from the list. Talk a little about family dinners. Laugh. Clean up together. Tell each other how much you care about each other. Repeat.

If at some point you can say, “This was so much fun. I would love for us to try to do this every week. What do you think? Can we do that?” you’ve just gotten the family on board without them knowing it. And your week 1 goal is complete!